Frustrating, frustration, frustrated…

I’ve spent the past decade, and particularly the last couple of years, deepening my understanding of human needs psychology and how that feeds into change both at the personal and communal levels.

My study and practice has led to some interesting outcomes

[in myself an others]

whether it be anchoring states, use of mantra to condition change or simply recognizing the state people go into at points of challenge/crisis.

[thank you Anthony Robbins!]

In amongst all this is the area of transformational vocabulary.

Simply put, we have a relatively small set of words

[and bear in mind I’ve written well over half-a-million of them so far]

that we use to describe and categorize experiences and sensations. We use these words habitually as neural shortcuts and, if we’re not careful, they can nullify new experiences, shape our physiology and even, somatically, change our biochemistry.

As with all learning, the first place to start is with the self.

And I realized that a word I use a lot

[a LOT]

is frustrated.

I am frustrated. I am becoming frustrated. This is frustrating.

A lot of use is in my internal dialogue now, but it’s there – sometimes dressed up as boredom, restlessness, claustrophobia, inattention – but always, always frustrated.

And I keep putting myself in situations

[or act within existing situations]

to become frustrated.

Realizing this is a BIG thing for me – it provides me the clarity to shift my normality, because I know it doesn’t serve me well.

My change begins with finding new words, the beginnings of transformational vocabulary I will apply in my own everyday. I am on the search for two new words:

  1. A word that defuses the gravity of my frustration. It’s a word that I will use to break my pattern, to snap myself out of it, to scratch the record. This word has to describe the state in a comical or oddball way. It is another way  of describing frustration: “Oh, don’t mind me I’m just getting…”
  2. A word that will renew forward momentum whenever I have the sensations which I have labelled as being frustrated. This is an ACTIVE word, the so-what-are-you-going-to-do-about-it word.

As I begin to develop this transformational vocabulary, I’ll be reinforcing change through use of mantra, physical practices

[look for me chanting while working out]

and other conditioning techniques.

This is the work I do with my coaching clients, and I am excited to be healing myself in a similar manner.

So, let me ask you a couple of questions

[it’s not a test, I need your help]

Imagine someone who is very frustrated – they are tense, snappy, glowering – and you’re worried about them. You ask them: “how are you doing?” They look at you and say “Don’t mind me, I’m just a little…” and burst out laughing. You see the tension melt away with their giggles. What word(s) did they use?

Now, think of someone who is very, very far from frustrated… How would the describe their attitude to life? What words would they use?


Vince Sig 131x89

ps: interesting side note – you should have seen how easy it was for me to write about my ‘frustrated’ language set. It’s very, very deep in my identity, shifting it will be a joy.



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